That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.